Gay Hell Again! (Part 2)

And here we sit, broke down on the side of the road in broad daylight. I knew if I gave in and went again something would happen. It always does.

Chrissie pops the hood and gets out in her pink pantsuit with matching pink shoes and pink nails. At least she has on her flats today.

As she leans under the hood, a highway patrolman swerves over and parks in front of us. Here we go, I moan, Gay Hell Again.

Chrissie looks up at me and starts laughing knowing that it embarrasses me. Infuriated, I jump out of the car and waylay the officer asking if he has a phone I can use. As I follow him back to his car I smirk at Chrissie on the way.

I phone my sister stating, “Lori, me and Chrissie are broke down on Hwy 90, can you come get us?” Laughing she says, “I told you something would happen; it always does”.

Thanking the officer, I get out of the car. As I pass Chrissie who is still under the hood tinkering, I mutter “that pantsuit does absolutely nothing for you” and “don’t ask me to go again, just don’t”.

Copyright © Robin S Stevens 2007

What in Gay Hell (Part 1)

As the blue light goes on behind us I instantly recall the cop scene from Too Won Fu and blurt out “oh what in gay hell?” Chrissie turns the car into the closest parking lot and the officer pulls in behind us and gets out. He walks up and bends down to look into the driver side window. I notice his gaze traveling up and down the length of Chrissie assessing her black leather miniskirt and tight-breasted black sweater. “Ma’am”, he says, “You’ve got a brake light out; I’ll need to see your license”. As he looks over Chrissie’s driver’s license, he then utters the words I knew were coming, “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the car.” I groan and slide down further in the seat.

As Chrissie’s five inch stilettos hit the payment I can’t help but notice that the officer’s mouth drops open. He stares as the tall sexy blonde eases herself into an upright position. The officer stands about six inches shorter and asks Chrissie to walk to the back of the car. He then follows her watching the enticing way she walks in the tight mini skirt and stilettos.

Cracking the window, I strain my ears to hear the conversation. “Ma’am, this is not your drivers license, could you explain why you have this?” As Chrissie opens her mouth to speak, the officer is taken aback when the quite male voice says, “sir, that’s me”. The officer stutters and stumbles around trying to find words as he says, “oh…uh… hmm… you’re my first… hmm, I just wanted to tell you your brake light is out… hmm you can go.”

As we pull out of the parking lot to leave we head down the main way to get back on the interstate. Cop cars are lining up to watch us leave this one horse town and as we hit the exit ramp heading home, I say, “Never again, every damn time we go something happens, don’t ask me to go again.”

Copyright © Robin S Stevens 2007